The True Colors of Academic Validation
By: Rayya Hadisurya
Edited by: Fiorina Siamir
Academic Validation. A neverending cycle of pursuance and fear. Burning, raging in all its passion yet cowering at the first sight of disapproval. Were we programmed to feel this way by our educational institutions? Or was this instilled in us by our very own close-knit communities? The answer is simple, yes and yes. The absolute fear of disappointment, the rooted consternation of mistake, the utter terror of failure. Packaged into a pretty little facade of educational achievements and successes. In a more concise approach, academic validation is the strong desire for praise and acknowledgment. Whether it be from their parents, teachers, or even friends but let’s circle back to the main problem. Why do we feel as if we must be validated by someone else? That’s easy, people who crave validation are unsupported people. People who experience that their feelings, thoughts, and emotions are not to be understood or even listened to. They are lonely, isolated people who are unheard.
Schools apply a cruel, gruesome grading system to determine the brain capacities of their students. And yes, this is our standard, this is what we have achieved. The unhealthy mindset of rank. To classify and categorize smart from dumb. However, can we truly measure the intelligence of a child merely by a point grade system that has since been outdated and proven to be unethical? Grading in general is immoral because it is inconsistent and error-prone. It also puts a lot of pressure on children to perform well, which leads to an outrageous amount of anxiety and stress.
This is harmful. Thus, making it unethical. Parents, in this case, are not devoid of blame. Many times we realize our parents rarely praise us for anything except our stellar academic results and not its tiring process. Reminding us that they are ironically similar to our academic institutions. Again, outcome not action. They believe that it is a given that we should stretch ourselves thin, preparing for admissions to prestigious universities. Commonly resulting in corporate slavery for the majority of our lifetime. Hence, we can conclude that positive reinforcement is a way to nurture confidence and individuality. The lack of acclamation is the reason why so many of us are lost trying to figure out what we want and who we are.
As pictured in the new Disney movie, Turning Red. This is exactly what happens to Mei Mei, a pre-teen who is raised in a strict Asian household. Mei Mei seeks consolation in her friends, unable to open up to her own mother. As we watch her character unfold, we realize that she is in denial. Choosing between who she is, what she likes, and the validation from her mother. When her character develops further into the movie, we realize that her mother went through the same experience as she. Here it is in all its glory, generational trauma.
This is the reason why parents have such high expectations of their children. It is because their parents expected the same if not more. Tough love, they say. They only want the best for us, they say. No, they want what they think is best for us. Generational trauma is a curse.
With that, we move on to another fictional character, Rory Gilmore from the famous show, Gilmore Girls. Her mother, Lorelai Gilmore was impregnated with Rory at the young age of 16 years old. Feeling indebted to her teen mom, Rory tries her best in school and gets admitted to the esteemed Yale. Rory’s grandmother expected this of her mom, Lorelai. Although Rory and her mother’s relationship is open and stable, her grandmother now extends her expectations on to Rory. Once again, the recurring generational trauma. During her time at Yale, she also undergoes emotional turmoil that makes her drop out of college. Yet another character who suffers to find her individuality. The only difference is that she now seeks male validation.
Circling back, students struggle with the undying, ceaseless stress of wanting to enter a prestigious university to prove to their communities that they are capable of doing so. The competitiveness and immense pressure is the most stressful part of growth as a teenager. A survey I recently conducted proved that a whopping 79% of high-school students are anxious about university admissions. When I asked the students why most of them replied with either “I don’t want to let my parents down” or “There are other students who are much better than me”. These students have concerningly similar opinions that can all be traced back to societal pressure such as the expectations of their parents and others. Not only do we begin to doubt our capabilities but we also question whether we are worthy of being admitted to these dream schools. Other students have 3.9-4.0 GPAs, stacks of extracurriculars, and 150 hours sacrificed for community service, there’s hardly a chance to compete with them. So, what makes you so special? If it’s one thing, it’s your essay. It is quite literally the most interesting perspective of your life written within 500 words. It proves your identity, character, and how you overcome hardships.
It is hard on ourselves to be imposing these pressures when we have yet so much to know and learn. It is only impeding our process of perfecting ourselves. Acknowledge the effort that you’ve put in. Let it be known that you’ve tried your hardest. We were not born wanting to have the prestige of academia, it is the external pressure that we’re exposed to that causes our distress. So, please don’t be too hard on yourselves.